#48 - Prospects

Woman: Surely you have a wife or a girlfriend?
Man: No! I'm a confirmed bachelor.

Woman: I don't know which is worse.


It's funny because it's true.

#46 - A bad dream

The crucifix on the radio implies that this couple are listeners of Radio Maryja. This station promotes paranoid thinking not all that dissimilar from the man's dream, which includes most of the bugbears of the contemporary Polish reactionary worldview: Jews, Germans, gays, and Polish land being owned by foreigners. Certain elements of the US political scene have similar nightmares.

#47 - Vacation plans

A common sight in some Polish parks, indeed in parks worldwide, including those in my city: drunken unemployed men with nothing to do and nowhere to go. What do they do on holiday weekends?

A Pole writes:

"Długi weekend" includes a pun. It is long and boring for these eternally jobless fellows. The phrase "długi weekend", however, is commonly used now by everybody, working or not working class heroes.
 It started with a several days break in May, which even turned into the whole week break.
 It is connected with the Working Class Day, followed by the Day of National Flag and Trzeci Maja, as you probably know, Święto Konstytucji in Poland.

 People prolong their holiday taking sick leaves or asking for the free week where they work. Such long weekends, sometimes lasting the whole week, happen now also in August when we've got Święto Maryjne,hi,hi, on 15th August. The third long weekend or week may happen on 1st November and around that day, when people go to the cemeteries around Poland.
  One long weekend is chased by another, it is the subject of idiotic conversations, it is discussed in the media, blablabla.
  Now, the funny side is that it is posh to go abroad for such a long weekend, especially in May or August.A small number of people can afford to do it and there's the rub.
 The people who want to show off and go for the whole week to Egypt, for example.
 They spend their time there, imprisoned in one of the hotels in Hurghada, swimming, picking up boys, observing teenagers and children, eating, drinking, taking massages, puking and farting, not knowing about the outside world at all.
 Then, relaxed to the extreme, they return, ready to meet such miserable creatures like me, who don't go to those blessed holiday resorts and spas, and tell them stories about the Arabian Nights and comforting them that their time is gonna come.

#45 - Temptress

#44 - English lesson

Another comment on the Anglophone invasion of Polish culture.

#43 - Collectible

A Raczkowski classic. He cherishes the peculiar inner worlds of children. The joke's slightly funnier in Polish because zbieram is both "I'm gathering" and "I'm collecting", but the underlying idea translates just fine. There's also a possible reference here to a political affair R was embroiled in that involved dog poop, but let's not go into that now.

#42 - Dreams of children

Child: Daddy, I changed my mind. I don't want to be a fireman anymore.
Father: Too late.

#41 - Heading over the edge

Do you sometimes get the feeling that the gloomy prognostications are correct, and that civilization is headed for a severe breakdown.

#40 - So meta

          Man: Our house reminds me of an unsuccessful comic strip.

          Woman: What do you mean?

          Man: Each window is a sequential panel.

          Woman: I see what you mean....but why unsuccessful?

          Man: Because it's not funny.

#39 - The shame of it

                  Son: Dad, you work in such an important office...so why are we 

                               so  poor? Why don't I have a laptop and cool clothes?

                  Father: Because I don't take bribes.

                  Son: But my friends make fun of me!

                  Father: Mine too.

#38 - Speak truth to power

              God: Andy, tell me, do you believe in me?

              Andy: I believe in you.

              God: Then why don't you go to church? Why don't you pray to me?

              Andy: Because I don't like you.

Andy's dress and background terrain identify him as a góral, a Polish highlander. I don't know what that has to do with the joke as I'm not familiar with góral culture. Perhaps they are reputed to be extremely frank, even to the point that they'll tell God exactly what they think of him.

This cartoon makes me laugh every time.

UPDATE: A góralka friend has informed me that highlanders in Poland are said to be feisty, belligerent, impudent, and so forth. They are also perceived to be extremely religous folk.

#37 - What's a country to do

1:

First woman: Poland is a woman.

Second woman: But all the countries nearby are chicks too.

2:

Second woman: Russia, Sweden, Slovakia...

First woman: Ukraine, Lithuania, France, Netherlands...

3:

First woman: Or they're unknowns like Germany, Czech, Hungary...

Second woman: Italy...

4.

First woman: There's a lack of men. Ones like Mexico or Egypt...

5:

First woman: Nearby there's only Liechtenstein, Luxembourg...

Second woman: And the Vatican.

6:

First woman: They're so small.

I find this joke pretty funny, even though it's entirely dependent on the grammatical gender of the names of countries in Polish. "Poland" is feminine - you can tell by the "-a" ending of "Polska" - and so are the other "-a" countries mentioned in the second panel. Note that the Netherlands are the singular feminine "Holandia" in Polish. Plurals are usually of indeterminate gender in Polish and the countries mentioned in  the third panel are all plurals. Their names probably derive from names of tribes or peoples. The name for Germany is especially interesting as it comes ultimately from a word meaning "mute, unable to speak", so in Polish Germany is "The Mutes". Mexico and Egypt are masculine, but far away; the only men nearby are "small" - a dick joke is always a guaranteed laugh. 

Poland has poor dating prospects!