#50 - Ordnung muss sein

"Go and put your toys in order."

In Polish literally "Go and make order with your toys." In English we'd probably say "Go clean up your toys", and the child here would then wash them, but Racz is using the Polish form to make a subtle political point: the child has learnt that order is imposed by violence. 

#49 - The upside of Hell

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Hell really exists.

And those of you who come here have a

really awful time.

But, it's still better than life...

...and better than in Heaven.

I'm not entirely certain what the joke is here. I'm guessing Racz is illustrating the fact that people lie, and people who mean you harm will lie about what's in store for you, even to the point of saying that what's good is worse than what's bad.

I put it up though because a Polish girl once said something similar to me. Her name was Alina and we were talking at the end of a small party in a friend's apartment in Upper Silesia. I was planning to spend the night in the largest room of the apartment, which was unheated. Alina said that it was too cold, that I'd freeze. I said "That’s okay, if I die I’ll be in Heaven and I won’t have any problems." Alina replied, totally deadpan, without skipping a beat:

"But you don’t know what kind of problems there are in Heaven. It could be worse."

That impressed me deeply. It could be worse in Heaven. I have sometimes thought of myself as pretty pessimistic but Alina's words demonstrate a degree of bleakness and hopelessness I can only regard with awe.

This comic reminds me of the Polish blackness Alina introduced me to, a level of despair that Americans have barely tasted but that Poles have marinated in for generations. "Hell could actually be the better deal - have you considered that?" And what if it is. What if it is.

#48 - Prospects

Woman: Surely you have a wife or a girlfriend?
Man: No! I'm a confirmed bachelor.

Woman: I don't know which is worse.


It's funny because it's true.

#46 - A bad dream

The crucifix on the radio implies that this couple are listeners of Radio Maryja. This station promotes paranoid thinking not all that dissimilar from the man's dream, which includes most of the bugbears of the contemporary Polish reactionary worldview: Jews, Germans, gays, and Polish land being owned by foreigners. Certain elements of the US political scene have similar nightmares.

#47 - Vacation plans

A common sight in some Polish parks, indeed in parks worldwide, including those in my city: drunken unemployed men with nothing to do and nowhere to go. What do they do on holiday weekends?

A Pole writes:

"Długi weekend" includes a pun. It is long and boring for these eternally jobless fellows. The phrase "długi weekend", however, is commonly used now by everybody, working or not working class heroes.
 It started with a several days break in May, which even turned into the whole week break.
 It is connected with the Working Class Day, followed by the Day of National Flag and Trzeci Maja, as you probably know, Święto Konstytucji in Poland.

 People prolong their holiday taking sick leaves or asking for the free week where they work. Such long weekends, sometimes lasting the whole week, happen now also in August when we've got Święto Maryjne,hi,hi, on 15th August. The third long weekend or week may happen on 1st November and around that day, when people go to the cemeteries around Poland.
  One long weekend is chased by another, it is the subject of idiotic conversations, it is discussed in the media, blablabla.
  Now, the funny side is that it is posh to go abroad for such a long weekend, especially in May or August.A small number of people can afford to do it and there's the rub.
 The people who want to show off and go for the whole week to Egypt, for example.
 They spend their time there, imprisoned in one of the hotels in Hurghada, swimming, picking up boys, observing teenagers and children, eating, drinking, taking massages, puking and farting, not knowing about the outside world at all.
 Then, relaxed to the extreme, they return, ready to meet such miserable creatures like me, who don't go to those blessed holiday resorts and spas, and tell them stories about the Arabian Nights and comforting them that their time is gonna come.

#45 - Temptress

#44 - English lesson

Another comment on the Anglophone invasion of Polish culture.

#43 - Collectible

A Raczkowski classic. He cherishes the peculiar inner worlds of children. The joke's slightly funnier in Polish because zbieram is both "I'm gathering" and "I'm collecting", but the underlying idea translates just fine. There's also a possible reference here to a political affair R was embroiled in that involved dog poop, but let's not go into that now.

#42 - Dreams of children

Child: Daddy, I changed my mind. I don't want to be a fireman anymore.
Father: Too late.

#41 - Heading over the edge

Do you sometimes get the feeling that the gloomy prognostications are correct, and that civilization is headed for a severe breakdown.

#40 - So meta

          Man: Our house reminds me of an unsuccessful comic strip.

          Woman: What do you mean?

          Man: Each window is a sequential panel.

          Woman: I see what you mean....but why unsuccessful?

          Man: Because it's not funny.

#39 - The shame of it

                  Son: Dad, you work in such an important office...so why are we 

                               so  poor? Why don't I have a laptop and cool clothes?

                  Father: Because I don't take bribes.

                  Son: But my friends make fun of me!

                  Father: Mine too.